Do you feel like you’re always running on empty? Do you feel others drain the energy out of you? Or Are you left drained by always giving away far too much of yourself to others?
Sometimes we can feel like we’re running on empty and people just keep asking for more.
But what is the cost to keep going when you are left exhausted or even at the end your tether?
Often we feel like we need to give certain things, or people, in our lives everything we have.
We over-give to our partners, our work, our business, our friendships, our kids.
Why do we sometimes give so much of ourselves away?
That’s a good question…We often do it because we feel it’s expected of us, or we think we’ll get what we need in return: energy, acknowledgement, approval, love, acceptance.
Let me give you an analogy: We can’t run a car on empty and expect it to keep going. Even if it’s running close to empty the quality of the petrol left in the tank won’t be very good, and we’ll probably end up doing some damage to the engine. And that can get rather expensive to fix!
When we are constantly depleting our own energy by giving everything we have, we end up exhausted, and running on nearly empty. A bit like that poorly maintained car…..Nothing will function optimally when we are in this state: our bodies, or our emotional and mental wellbeing.
So, what if we stop giving our energy to people or situations, and we start sharing our energy instead?
It’s subtle but it makes a huge difference.
By sharing we are not giving everything we have in order to do something. Sharing means our energy can stay replenished. Sharing also implies an exchange so it’s a mutual transaction, and so everyone gets a little top up of energy in the process.
When we start to share more, and we have more energy, then everything starts to work better and feel better. And in turn, our relationships start to improve and we can find joy in the smaller things again 🙂
It’s something, I’m pleased to say, that I’ve got much better at over the years. It has helped me to realise that even though I don’t have to over-give, I can still help and do things for others. I can do it from a space of wanting to, rather than feeling I should.
Here are three things you can do differently in order to share your energy, rather than give it away:
- Set boundaries – understanding for yourself what depletes your energy and what leaves you feeling energised is a great start. We can all love helping and supporting others, and when we share our love, energy, enthusiasm, compassion we definitely feel better for it.
- Say no – this is not as hard as it sounds! Start with a few smaller things that you find depleting. It’s my experience that people understand when you explain you can’t do something or you offer another solution.
- Take positive action – do things that feel better for you, that energise you, that make you feel happy. Do something for you, you deserve it!
Remember: Start small and build from there.
P.S. What one thing can you say no to right now? By doing something different you will start to find a solution that works for you. Give it a go, what have you got to lose?
P.P.S. Reply by email – I’d love to hear how you are getting on, or let me know if you’re struggling and need a little inspiration to make a start!? firstname.lastname@example.org