Do you wish you didn’t have certain negative feelings?
Do you believe when you eradicate all your negative thoughts everything will be ok?
There seems to be a perception that once you eliminate, or transcend, your negative feelings, everything will be ok.
But that’s not entirely true.
We all have feelings and thoughts that feel good and those that, quite frankly, don’t feel so good.
You’re not alone.
It’s my experience that when you seek to eliminate all your negative thoughts and emotions, that’s when things can really feel like an uphill struggle.
It’s therefore much more important that you chose what you want to do with those thoughts and emotions. You can hold onto them and let them shape your day. Or you can see they are part of what makes you, you.
As you learn to accept and work with anything that doesn’t feel so good, that’s where true transformation happens.
Thoughts are just thoughts.
Feelings are just feelings.
Until you assign meaning to them.
When you assign meaning to those thoughts and feelings, you act on them.
The outcome is that you get results that reflect those actions.
You then get results that are either wanted or unwanted; good or not so good.
Here are 4 steps for how to accept all parts of yourself (warts and all)
- Nothing is perfect. Rather than trying to get rid of the not so good feelings, acknowledge that they are there. Ask ‘what is this thought/feeling trying to highlight’? Perhaps there’s something you need to change or do differently.
- Embrace the positive and negative. We have to experience the polarity to experience the good. How would you know what happiness feels like, if you’ve never known sadness?
- Nothing’s permanent. We move through all thoughts and feelings. Good and not so good. Know that everything passes. This really helps me when feelings of fear, frustration or sadness come. When I accept things will change, it actually changes quicker than I expect.
- We’re all unique. If you never felt anger what would motivate you to change? I know my anger about waste in our society led me to campaign for it, educate others and look at how I can do even more in my own life. I turned anger to passion. Use the energy of feelings to motivate you to create positive change – in yourself, in society, or for others. Don’t avoid them, it’s what make you, you.
When you accept all parts of you, your ego and your ‘shadow’ side, you can work with all aspects of yourself equally. You let go, you accept yourself and see the potential in others to do the same.
This is where true transformation happens.
Remember: Start small and build from there.
Much love,
Natasha x
