Becoming friends with our emotions

Welcoming our emotions with open arms rather than a cold shoulder.

Becoming friends with your emotions – what if you could forge a deeper understanding and relationship with your emotions to empower you and to work with you, rather than against you?

I was recently chatting to my dear friend about her yoga practice. She finally realised that her hip problem just wasn’t going away, and it was time to give it some well deserved attention. She came to the conclusion that during her yoga practice she really needed to start leaving her ego at the door, stop striving for that ‘perfect’ position and really start to listen to what her body was saying.

This left me with a very clear, and amusing, image of our dear friend, ego, being firmly told: ‘Sorry mate, you’ll just have to sit this one out and wait in reception for me until I’ve finished my class!’ He was definitely a bit sulky, arms crossed with a brooding face. He’d probably brood a while. Get the picture? But I also saw his mood wasn’t permanent. He’ll get over it! Slowly he’ll get used to being left there, especially as he learns that you always collect him on the way out.

The question struck me ‘what if I could really begin to make friends with all my emotions?’ Let’s take sadness, for example. How about, instead of shutting her out, I invited her in for a cuppa when she comes knocking. We could have a good old chat and reach a conclusion that satisfies us both. After all she appears in order to show me something. She has something to say and she wants me to listen and hear her out. Who am I to deny her? Isn’t that what we do when a friend is upset with us? We don’t  slam the door in their face. We invite them in, we chat, we discuss, we conclude and we move on. As most of us know, if we don’t resolve an argument we can fester on it. It ruins our day, our week, our year. Sometimes it even ruins our lives if we can’t let go of the pain and anger that we are holding on to.

How powerful then would it be if, instead, if we invited our emotions in and really listened to them? It’s my experience, when I ignore those emotions they get frustrated and they tend to just bang louder. They might disappear for a while but when they come back they bring their mates. Fear, anger and perhaps depression.

What emotion knocks the loudest for you? Anxiety, frustration, fear, sadness? How could you change your relationship with this emotion by listening to it for a while? Perhaps writing allows you connect to that emotion better. Ask it some questions… What does it want? What does it have to say to you? What could you do to quieten it? What are you not noticing?

Is this something that you’d like to explore further through coaching? Would you like to explore how you can create more emotional balance? Would you like to start living your life with more awareness and understanding of how your emotional wellbeing impacts your work, relationships, health and wellbeing? Then get in touch with me for a free consultation to see how we might work together –

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